In the second episode of The Nearly Coherent Podcast, eD! and Jeff discuss “Deadpool”, “Batman v. Superman”, “Fuller House”, and a bunch of other crap!

Wondering if it’s better than the first episode? You bet your butt it is!

Episode Transcript (Robot Edition)

eD! Thomas [0:00]

Welcome to the Nearly Coherent podcast.. I’m eD.

Jeff Ritter[0:03]

And I’m Jeff.

eD! Thomas [0:04]

This is the second episode. Jeff.

Unknown Speaker 0:07

I’m amazed. Yeah,

eD! Thomas [0:08]

I’m surprised that we didn’t get canceled. by me. That’s good. I’m glad you. I’m glad you saw the potential in the show. I did. I did. Hey, wanna hear something real weird?

Unknown Speaker 0:19

I absolutely.

eD! Thomas [0:20]

You know, last week when we were talking about trying to get sponsors, and just being real, slutty, dirty whores about it. Yeah, I’m still with that. Yeah, I just wanna let you know that thanks to my ingenuity, my creativity, my good looks, my charm. And above all else, my humility. I actually have a sponsor that has beautiful news, right? Yeah. Just when you thought that nobody would pay us to talk about crap after the verbal diarrhea. That was episode one. Yeah. I got a quick question for you. Do you backup your computer? I don’t. You’re a giant sack of shit. You’re a horrible human being. But you’re also just like 25% of other people who are giant, silly heads who lose their data. You know how you could not lose your data? How? By backing your shit up? You know, I’ve actually have lost my data you have lots of I’ve worked in it where people were like, expecting backups for free. Yeah, so backups work, not how it works. Even a little bit. And then you get people that are like, you know, just doing, you know, regular backups your harddrive. What if your house goes on fire? What are you gonna do then? Not you’re you’re screwed. kind of screwed. It’s doomed. You’re just you do? What is that? You should sign up for backblaze backblaze backblaze. First of all, great name. It beautiful name. Tell me a little bit about it. It’s an online backup service. Jeff, they backup your stuff to the internet. Nice off site off site. This look at you with your technical. It’s like you’re no longer an Amish person. That’s true. I’m Welcome back to the world, huh? It’s true. Thank you. backblaze. So here’s the deal. And I actually use backblaze. So I’m not talking crap here. That’s good. This is how you do things. You download this app. It just constantly backs your crap up for $5 a month per computer. Really? That’s it? unlimited data, unlimited data, unlimited data. I’ve got my iMac backing up to there. And it’s like three terabytes for five bucks a month. Yeah, yeah. It’s really I don’t even know how they’re still in business. But I’m really happy that they are. Yeah, that’s good. Good for them. Hey, Dave, do you backup your stuff?

Unknown Speaker 2:28


eD! Thomas [2:29]

What a lying whore. He doesn’t backup anything. He definitely does the only thing he backs up his dad as he does the same exact thing. He’s known for backing data, so it’s true. So if I told you that you could backup your stupid crap, and I’m talking both your super crap and like pictures of your children, right? important financial documents, stuff you’re working on. And in Dan’s case, weird pornography. Weird. real weird, like crazy. Japanese tentacle stuff. Um, loves it. $5 a month you do it? And honestly, I would do it in a heartbeat. Matter of fact, I will. Yeah, you should. I absolutely will. Because, you know, people don’t you don’t even realize the photos that you take now. Yeah, take gigs worth. It’s ridiculous and not even not even realize. Yeah, you know, you’ll lose them all your computer your hard drive crashes. Yeah, theater stolen. I knew I mean, even you remember, my last my last Mac that I had the computer just kind of hit the skids on me. And that was it. You know, thankfully then I did have a backup. But it was only a local backup. Yeah, it was another It was another hard drive. It was a USB hard drive that could have failed. Yeah. And done the exact same to absolutely anything. So now if I told you that you can get 15 days of this for free. Just by going to nearly coherent dot link forward slash backblaze. What would you say? I would say that’s exactly how I’m signing up. Damn right. It is. Dave, you should sign up that way to a thumbs up. Dave, the weird technical porn lover known for $5 a month though. It’s silly. It’s honestly, I have everybody signed up on this. Yeah, my entire family this way don’t have to deal there. I lost crap. things. And now thanks to your friends at the nearly coherent podcast, you get 15 days for free. You do get 15 days for free and you help support us talking like a bunch of assholes. That’s true. Which is that still keeps on giving. Listen, people that is the right thing to do. I feel like it’s a win win. For all you folks out there. It’s true. Keeps us in burritos. Keeps Dave in whatever level of employment we consider him. Full time. Full time. Yeah. No benefit of time volunteer fix is 1099 is just gonna be $3 three. Great. So once again, go to neola coherence dot link, forward slash back Place. You had to do it do the right thing. 15 days for free $5 a month for unlimited data backup.

Unknown Speaker 5:06

It’s beautiful thing.

Unknown Speaker 5:06

Don’t be as stupid. No,

eD! Thomas [5:08]

do it now. Don’t be stupid. That should be their tagline. I hope so. Don’t be a stupid full stack guys. Please put that right there. We got you. Right on your homepage. It won’t be as stupid. Why don’t you do a podcast? That sounds like a plan. I hear it gets better this week. That’s the word on the street. I bet worse. high bar to clear.

Unknown Speaker 5:29

Yep. All right, let’s

eD! Thomas [5:30]

let’s do this. Thanks. Get

Unknown Speaker 5:31

it on.

Unknown Speaker 5:57

Hey, Jeff, do very well. How about yourself? Delicious. Very excited to see you guys

eD! Thomas [6:02]

excited to see you.

Unknown Speaker 6:03

It’s nice.

eD! Thomas [6:03]

No, I’m not excited to say, oh, nobody. Everybody here is important to me. That’s very nice to see. I bet your day if that I was gonna say something terrible about him. But you know what? I thought there’s gonna be day two, because you already told me you’re excited to see me. I was like, all Tough break day.

Unknown Speaker 6:19

Yeah, good time.

eD! Thomas [6:20]

So how was your Valentine’s Day? Valentine’s Day was nice. We It was very non romantic, though. My wife and I were cleaning the house all day getting things set up because my uncle came to town. And we were going to have my folks and my uncle and my brother and his family over the house. So we did that. It was a nice thing we did for my mom. So I figured she’s our number one fan here at nearly coherent. So I might as well do something nice. True. It’s true. But it was good. It was good. I just want to let you know that the minute you said your uncle came over, I was just gonna jump in and be like, that’s code for animal, isn’t it? It’s not Teresa. It is not. I did not tell them anything about that. I know that that is a no, no. If you’re listening, which I’m sure you’re not. Yeah, probably not. She was not happy about my comments about her and the kids from the last from the last session that we did. She’s like, that’s what you think of us. I’m like, Well, I mean, did you tell you forgot how many children you had? I yeah. That was your first mistake. Like three What the fuck? Like, I don’t know. Like, I don’t know why I said that. Yeah, that was that was a mystery. A reason I asked you about your Valentine’s Day. My Valentine’s Day was super exciting. I was just I was going to ask when you made the uncle and Angel comment and through my shit right off. Yeah, yeah. What I was gonna say as you know, nobody loves me. I do. Well, okay. And and our producer Dave also raising his hand saying he loves me. Which I appreciate both of you, but neither of you have sort of boobs. I’m looking for it. Well, I’m significantly close to debut definitely under the right boobs. You could work on it, though. Eat a couple more burritos, bro. Get some carbs in. Yeah, yeah. So I went to go see Deadpool on Valentine’s Day. Excellent. Yeah, it was a weird because I hate Deadpool as a character. Primarily because he’s overused in everything. And the people that I know that like him. annoy the shit out of me. Is it like the not comic book fan that thinks they’re a comic book fan? Yeah. Yeah, the people are like, I love comics, because I’ve read Deadpool twice. Like, no, stop. How long have you been around? He has been around since the 90s. He’s one of the quintessential 90s carriers. So he’s got 9000 pouches on him? Because that was just 90s comic book characters. Yeah, that’s true. He got real pouchy even even real people in the 90s were pouched up. Yeah, it was already heavily all pouches and trench coats. Yeah, back in that day. So I went to go see it. And because everybody I know, knows I hate Deadpool. I went by myself. Okay. And I made sure that you know, like, I didn’t want to run it was I didn’t want to run into anybody who would know me. So I went to a theater that’s completely out of the way. I went wearing sunglasses. I went wearing a hat. I went wearing a overcoat that I the collar, but it was like I was going to go see a porno. Yeah, and the 70s I like, I like really just went, David I like I didn’t talk to anybody. I bought the ticket. Look. There you go. Walk in sit in the back so nobody can find me. You really went like Pee Wee Herman your style. Yeah. See this? If I was arrested for touching myself and appropriately everyone looks at the picture of me like yeah, that’s that’s what that guy looks like. Oh, yeah, that’s it. Yeah, that’s, that’s the guy. He’s not allowed within 1000 feet of a school. Yeah, so I went to see that it was real. Really shockingly good though. That’s good. I’m really weirded out by how much I enjoyed that movie. Well, I actually went to see it as well. And you know, I’m not like a huge movie guy. You’re not I think Do love. I love the superhero movies. You know, it’s it’s, it’s real nice escapism. And fortunately for the past few years, I think on the whole, they’ve been pretty good. So I went to see this older group of my friends and I loved it. You know, Deadpool is not one of the comics that I know more about, you know, most of the other ones I know about because you’ve gotten me into them. Yeah, you know, but I have to agree, I thought it was a great time. I really thought that the casting was pretty spot on, like, you know, I mean, if if you had told me that van Wilder would make a fantastic Deadpool, I’d be like, yeah, you know, you’re totally right. And if you told me that you’d make a awful Green Lantern. I’d also go you’re also correct on Yeah. 100%.

That Green Lantern was watchable. I was. I was going through a couple of years ago when they had the Twitter archives that you could go through and see all your tweets from like, this started the service. Apparently, I said I liked Green Lantern. Because I guess I was on drugs. A terrible mistake. Yeah. I would like to go back and delete it is archived by the Library of Congress. So I haven’t, is it really? Yeah, everything that’s on Twitter is archived. But the Library of Congress, which means I have written a lot of dick jokes, to the Library of Congress, you have congressmen just stealing your dick jokes left and right, as they’re just taking pictures of their winners. And you know, they’ll never give you any credit. Of course not. Congress would never give credit for stolen dick jokes up bastard sons of bitches liars. Let’s not get too political on episode two. I mean, we already took a really hard stand on librarians. Welcome still. Yes, we still you know, it’s unwavering. Your hatred for libraries? Sure. I’m worried that we’re gonna get a lot of hate mail from them now. But it’s all gonna be letters just go to be handwritten letters. It is I don’t I don’t we don’t have an address. We don’t have to worry about it. It’ll just die in a box somewhere in the post office.

Ooh, Dewey Decimal System letters. Do you guys remember anything about the Dewey Decimal System? I remember that it was made by somebody whose name was Dewey. And he had a lot of free time and a sense of too much. Maybe? Yeah. Why not? Just alphabetize shit.

Unknown Speaker 12:14

Well, seriously,

eD! Thomas [12:15]

there’s alphabetize. Everything wouldn’t have been so much simpler. When I was in middle school, do you remember when the library was a class? I do? Like, oh, it’s Wednesday. Yeah. So we had library, you know, once a week or whatever it was. And one of the things that we did I think it was in sixth grade. But they showed this like series that taught you about the Dewey Decimal System. riveting? Yeah. Cold tones and talismans. And it’s just honestly just as good as it sounds right now. But I highly suggest if you get the chance. I don’t even know if you can find it on YouTube, and I’m sure you can find it somewhere in the bowels of the worldwide web. But in the late 21st century, Earth is overcrowded and polluted. An alien race from the dark stars solar system called the wipers who look human start to colonize the planet, but go about destroying communication and data technology. In 2117 humans start to evacuate the planet for a place called the white crystal solar system. That’s croc. Ah, it was was there a lot of crack jokes in this I was too young I wouldn’t have known didn’t even know what crack was Lehman but crack You shouldn’t have white crystals in your body. I mean, I’m not here to judge if that’s what you’re into. Go for it. You know, whatever. And when want to make sure I was clear that just for you. I hear you. Yeah. In 2008 after the anal joke before I want to let you know whatever you want to do with your butthole is a Okay, let me Joker and Uncle joke. It’s both okay. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, it’s well it’s how I roll in 2123 the less humans are getting ready to evacuate. Really? It takes them that long to have this this already sounds horrible. Terrible. Meanwhile, a group of librarians led by Miss Burkhardt Yep, have built an underground library to protect all human knowledge from the wipers again another thing Yeah, that’s true. There’s a lot of fun there’s a lot of but and crash references in that. He was my favorite part of that description. Yeah. At the very beginning when you explained that the wipers were a human, that they look like humans. The whole reason they did that is so they don’t have to buy a costume. Because this is a director video. You know, library miniseries, I’m sure they were working with the biggest budget. That’s true. Yeah, no, they probably had 40 said there was 13 episodes. Yeah, that’s the same number of episodes is Fuller House. This sounds better, to be honest, but there’s no way really, there’s no way I haven’t watched Fuller House yet. Are you lucky bastard. I absolutely Well, and I bet money I absolutely love it. I bet money. I love it. I gotta be honest with you. I’m really hoping you don’t. Why would you hope that because it is not good. Dave and I sat through it on Friday. We spent six hours straight rewatching but we stopped for lunch, obviously. Yeah, there’s only so much punishment you can take before. You know, you want to just jump in front of a bus. But again, that’s not a good show. Now what you didn’t like though the the original. I had forgotten how much I didn’t like the original. See, I love the original. I still watch the original. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I’m Nick at night all the time. I watch it with my son. Okay, like if he can’t sleep or something like that. He loves Full House. And I know so put it this right. There’s certain shows that you just you can’t watch with your kids around and not even like the real like crazy shit. But this just regular shows you can’t watch even sitcoms because of the subject matter and this and that only my you know, son find out about all that stuff yet. So Full House is actually a good alternative. Because Listen, if I’m not gonna watch that one of my watch, I’m watching some bullshit cartoon. You know, that I just that it’s too kitty. I just can’t stand it. So this is kind of like a happy medium still. But I still love the show. I love the tanner family. I think the show is great. And what I’m hoping for is that I love Fuller House even more because now Stephanie Tanner is smokin. Yeah, yeah, she has got extremely good assets I’ve seen there’s an episode where she’s in a silver dress that I would have married her see right then and there. And I loved her when I was little. She’s only like two years older than us. That’s phenomenal. I think maybe she’s maybe she’s only like a year older than us. Which Yeah, one can dream. Seriously. Stephanie Tanner? Yeah. And she was and she was funny. She was way funnier than dietsch wild while DJ was the fucking wet blanket or full house. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that.

Come on. That’s true. And it’s I just couldn’t. And Kimmy gibbler By the way,

Unknown Speaker 17:19


Unknown Speaker 17:20

She’s the worst hater fucking guts.

eD! Thomas [17:23]

She’s an absolute nightmare.

Kimmy? gibbler might as well be a librarian. That’s how much I fucking hate Kimmy gibbler she should have been a librarian. But um, come on on the originally was great episodes. Like, what about the episode where Steve Urkel comes to visit? Come on. That’s That’s true. And then I did like the fact that TGF was its own like the Marvel Cinematic it was but way lower state did Marvel steal from TGI k from anyone that they’re like, ah, they crossed over step by step. And family matters. And full house so obviously Captain America and Iron Man can live in the same Yeah, exactly. Why not? That’s that’s exactly how it went down. Well, then there was also the episode where Kirk Cameron comes to visit. trocar Cameron plays that cousin. Mm hmm. And him and DJ used to be super tight. Now he’s older and he wants to go play sports and with Uncle Jesse and Joey and Joey one is what really? Think about, like, plot hole wise. I think Joey living there is like, what the fuck? really come from, you know? Like, I know he’s like this, like failed stand up comic in both real life and. But like, nobody does. Nobody think it’s weird. Like, I’ve never been to San Francisco. So I know that it’s a very like, forward thinking place. And, you know, I know that that’s like a real melting pot and stuff. But, but nobody, nobody was like, come on. Nobody raise a hand and be like, Listen, Dave cool. Yeah, I’m gonna need you to Yeah, not be here like this. Nobody goes. Like, oh, you go on one day a year. Like What’s up with you? Come on, man. You got a good personality. What the fuck is like when when Vicki when Danny starts dating his temporary co host Vicki. She doesn’t come over and be like Ken who’s

Unknown Speaker 19:19

living in your basement and

eD! Thomas [19:24]

weird basement troll?

Unknown Speaker 19:25

Yeah. Dave.

eD! Thomas [19:27]

Plot there. I will tell you there are plot holes galore that allow it to be fair. That’s the 90s and TGI F in general, there was like, the little I mean, family matters to like the little daughter go into a time warp. Oh, people just it’s true. Family Matters. Just had people disappear. Yeah, people just left. We still don’t know what happened to original and Viv. Taken by the pod people. They kicked her off. Well. CIT a big problem with Will Smith. She did. Does so some of his day hates him. Yeah, was really throwing some shade with this whole Oscar man thing I loved it told him that she saw the movie just wasn’t good. That’s straight up. The darker and vivid the original and Viv was not taking any fresh frenzy shit about the Oscars. But family matters. Yeah, and the little girl left. Should the younger sister she disappeared coincidentally ended up becoming like a crackhead doing pornos, by the way. Then the aunt Rachel.

Unknown Speaker 20:30

Yeah, she

eD! Thomas [20:32]

first of all, it was just aunt Rachel. Then she had the little kid that looked like Lionel Richie. And then go come on. Think about it did not care what he did. And then they fucking both they disappeared. Yep. And then and then Harriet disappeared. And it was supposed to be a show about her when it started. Yeah, that’s once Urkel came out. And everyone’s useless and she loved. Like, listen, Harriet. watch the show. You couldn’t tell from Episode One. kads is fucking boring lady. You’re a security guard at the newspaper that Larian balcony workout big fucking deal. I’m gonna want to watch you even calls better than you. And you do nothing.

Karl’s useless

Unknown Speaker 21:14

Yeah, come on. Call play to judge like two weeks ago on always sunny.

Unknown Speaker 21:22

I thought he was dead.

eD! Thomas [21:23]

No, that’s that’s uncle. That’s uncle. No, I knew Phil is dead. Oh, I believe me. I have the voice of the shredder was a much bigger fan of fresh prints than I was. I loved fresh prints. Tatiana elite went to my elementary school that she really yeah, her sister was in my kindergarten class. She older than us are younger. She’s older. She’s older. Yeah. Yeah. Only about like a year or two though. And her sister was in your class. Mm hmm.

Unknown Speaker 21:47

What was her name? I

eD! Thomas [21:48]

don’t remember who was kindergarten. I barely remember 20 minutes ago. How long ago did they they must have left quit

Oh, I was in first grade when they were gone. And then by like the second grade was when Fresh Prince Do you think a family took a taxi to Bella and like French friends? It would be super incredible if they didn’t really expensive based on is a full Long Island four x $700. Tax.

Unknown Speaker 22:12

fuckin Bella.

eD! Thomas [22:14]

Yeah, there abouts. I really just killed the momentum. Rolling, Rolling, rolling. Dead. So So let’s go back to let’s go back to Deadpool. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 22:27

right. So

eD! Thomas [22:30]

shocked that you liked it. I’m really shocked. And I’m shocked that you liked it. Because you have a history of not liking a lot of these comic book movies. A lot of them. I like I like way more than I dislike Yes. No. Okay, in fairness, you’re right. But like some of the ones that you dislike Yeah, are wildly popular. Well, they are you know what it seems to be that all the DC ones have been the ones that you’ve disliked more. That’s true. So after I mean, I love dark night. Dark Nights phenomenal movie, right? Dark Knight Rises is one of the most disappointing things I’ve ever seen which I love the Dark Knight Rises but I i understand also plot hole central oil and cold dark night full house. Fucking plot holes all over the place. But still, I get it. I like I would have been it would have been great if Bane had Oracle’s voice. I just dropped Batman as Dean, I do that. He breaks he breaks Batman’s back and snoring. I actually and I know you don’t like it, but I loved Baines voice. I like it as a as a cultural reference point. Because you can say anything in bands voice and it’s really stupid. Yeah, it’s true. But now that’s and you know, you also did not like Man of Steel. That’s not all of it, though. Now, most of you did not like I’d not like Man of Steel because I know you did not like the ending. And spoiler alert if you haven’t seen Man of Steel, but uh, at the very end he he kills General Zod in order to protect a family that generals are just trying to laser beam. And even I know, and I’m really not a DC Comics fan. Like at all except for some Batman stuff because let’s face it, I think everybody likes Batman, but I know that one of the tenets of Superman is that he does not kill Yeah, does not kill not not ever. You know, it’s not necessarily true because he’s killed in the comics. He’s killed Zod Oh, well, thanks.

Unknown Speaker 24:44


Unknown Speaker 24:45

Fuck my whole shut up right.

eD! Thomas [24:47]

But here is a couple of things that you got to keep in mind. First of all, when he kills there are repercussions. When he killed Zod back in the 80s it was an alternate universe Zod and then he spent a year of comic book time. I’m out in space because he exiled himself um and i would have had way less of a problem with Superman killing cuz I think it was Max Landis john Lanza son who’s also screaming it really Chronicle Okay, um, he was talking about it and I agree with him were Superman’s the adult in a world full of children. So if you’re, if you’re sitting in a room and it’s nothing but children and another adult comes and goes, Hey, by the way, I’m going to kill all these children just cuz you’re going to do something, stop them. I’m not a big fan of killing people. I try to limit myself to doing it maybe twice a year. It’s good policy. You know, I like I like to extend and, but if somebody came in was like, Hey, here’s a bunch of children. I’m gonna murder unless if you stopped me, I’m gonna, I’m gonna kill the person. Even if I’ve done my two murders for the year. I’ll make an exception and do a third. You always have to there’s always got to be an exception to the rule. That’s a good one. Yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s a personal tenant of mine. Um, but the rest of the time Superman is just breaking everything. People are dying, left and right. Superman is the sort of person where if Doomsday is crashing around, and he can see somebody like about to go kill themselves somewhere. He’s going to stop and be like, what are you doing? This is silly. Stop it. I’m Superman. Seven hook and then go back to do the he’s gonna save as many people as he can. Yeah, the rest of that movie is basically dedicated to Superman, not saving shit. And I’m supposed to believe that for people suddenly are so important to Superman, that he’s not going to snap that he’s gonna just snap this guy’s neck and feel super bad about it for 30 seconds and then go make out with Lois Lane and a crater. Kiss my ass. Yeah, that’s not Superman. You know, the thing that I didn’t, I guess, that I didn’t like about it. And when I was watching it, I didn’t even think about, you know, these buildings falling and all these people. But I almost got the feeling like they were. They don’t show people in any of these buildings. Yeah, no, but you see it, but there’s shots that are like young. Like when 911 when people falling out of skyscrapers, you see that shit? Yeah, happening. And there’s millions of people that are dead. To me that I mean, you have the same problem in Avengers where everybody is, you know, the city is basically destroyed and Age of Ultron. But they take the time to show that they’re trying to save people the same time, right? All Superman is doing is just getting the shit kicked out of them. And speaking of which, how the hell is a guy who’s basically never been in a fight before beating a trained military general? Yeah. Especially. Also. Yeah, they’re, and they have the same powers. Yeah, even though they’ve been on earth for like 45 minutes. It’s like, Oh, I can fly and shoot heat vision. houses. Same same power level. It took me ages to figure that out. Yeah. And they figured it out in 30 seconds. So not only is Superman just dumb. He’s super dumb now. Does new power. plot holes? Yeah. It’s all Fuller House, man. Everything. I got to say this, the Dawn of Justice coming out? I don’t know about it. I’m not seeing it. You’re not seeing I’m not saying Come on. It’s 100 century. Come on. I if you told me 10 years ago, that I would be more excited for Guardians of the Galaxy movie that was announced the same day, as Batman v Superman. That would be now mind you. I’ve loved Rocket Raccoon forever. And Groot. So you know, I knew who they were. But I was more excited for that than Batman and Superman who I grew up with as Yeah, those were my dudes. You said mold. I remember, you know, years ago multiple times that you’ve said that they were were your favorite. I still enjoy. Superman is, you know, one of my favorite characters, but it’s, I can’t do anything with them now, because DC has no idea what the hell they’re doing of anything. Um, that’d be more excited for guardians galaxy. That’d be for Batman v Superman. I’d be more excited for Deadpool and a Deadpool sequel than I would be for Batman vs. Superman. I would have kicked you in the face and just told you that you were a monster. If you’d said that to me. Like if you put a bet on it, you would have made like, Apple CEO money. You would you and Tim Cook would have been hanging out me last night and just be like, yo, what’s good? That’s kind of my dad. Have I go back in time? It’s true. Invest hard and apple. Here’s $100 for my 50 shares that’ll split 900 times. Um, yeah, no, it’s just so Batman v Superman looks so not good.

So I read, I read an article about it. There was some and I don’t know if it’s true, or what some rumor that, you know, a guy saw the screener of it and then just kind of released all the information that he’s got. Yeah. Again, I don’t know if it’s true or not. Some of the stuff that they say is It sounds pretty cool. Like, I actually think that my character I look forward to most in that movie. And I never thought I would think this is Aquaman. But it’s because the actor that plays Aqua man, Jason momoa. Yeah. I love him from Game of Thrones. He’s in the first season of Game of Thrones. I don’t know, either. You know, I’ve seen one episode of Thrones. So he’s got a real weird story about Game of Thrones. We’ll get Yeah, we’ll get that. So he’s in the real. He’s in the real. He’s in the first season of Game of Thrones. And his characters is great. And supposedly in this. It’s he’s brutal. Like it’s great. Great fight scenes. Yeah. Which that might be cool. That might be cool to see. And I like the actor that plays him and stuff. I’m not that keen on. Henry Cavill. No, as Superman. Definitely don’t know how I feel about Ben Affleck playing Batman. I like Ben Affleck. Yeah. And from the trailers and whatnot. Seems like it might be alright. You know, who knows? But um, I don’t like the Wonder Woman casting. Yeah, that I have less of a problem. I part I just personally don’t. And I just personally don’t think it’s that great. And, you know, supposedly there’s going to be you’re going to have other folks in there other Justice League members in there. But the truth is, I don’t really know anything about the Justice League. You know, I don’t know any of their history. So for me, I’m a little bit. I don’t know. I’m not super excited about it. And super excited. Did you did that? Or did I did that on purpose? I liked it. made my heart go. flump. Because you hate to lose real you like when I flat flash of excitement that I had there saying get it, I get it. That’s what I’m trying to get towards. And Dave made a point about Green Lantern that nobody heard that. Sorry, you didn’t miss anything. Yeah, now that movie is just gonna be a pile of garbage. Well, not. I mean, I actually have less of a problem of Ben Affleck being Batman than I did initially. I mean, he kind of sort of looks the part. He’s a good enough actor that he could definitely do it. You know, Daredevil notwithstanding. And he’s not he didn’t single handedly ruin that. And he did. He

did not know.

It’s also like garbage. It’s also something like, what, 14 years later? He’s grown a little as an actor. Yeah. You know, just just a huge. I feel like that movie was just made because of how big of a star he was then. Yeah. And they were like, let’s just make him this guy was throw, and we’ll throw 90 minutes of shit together and people go see because it’s Ben Affleck. Yeah, I feel like that’s what it was. Yeah, I don’t know what the fuck they would think and making Electra. Ah, that movie was that. And I love Jennifer Garner in horrible, horrible ways. And even I hate that movie. Yeah, she’s actually one of my all time favorite movies. They’re just going out there. And absolutely one of the best. One of the six degrees in this one who’s in it with her knowledge about the Hulk, the Hulk and Gollum. Yes. Yeah. Who is also in the Age of Ultron? Yes, no. Yeah. Yes. He has his clock. That’s right. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Although they don’t say that he’s claw. Now, but he looks fucking exactly like claw and gets his hand chopped off. Right, which is how he ends up being claw. Yeah. Which I found the Oscars last night. You had a Captain America and Black Panther doing a presentation and then clock came out immediately after I was like, that’s good. a separate room or else it would have been real weird. Who’s playing Black Panther? I don’t remember his name. But I can’t I feel like I know him. But I can’t remember what he’s been in. Yeah, I have had that problem. Basically, all day. It’s true. Chadwick boseman. Apparently, he’s in Gods of Egypt. Must be the one black guy. Egypt that ever if you’re gonna talk about, like, you know, oh, hey, Hollywood is lacking diversity. Let’s set a movie in Egypt. And just make it just wait it out. And honestly, it looks awful. Yeah. It looks awful. It does. He was also Jackie Robinson in 42. Oh, that’s right. That’s right. James Brown and get on up. Oh, yeah. I didn’t see that movie. But I remember reading that. And he was also Derek Taylor. On er for one episode. I haven’t I haven’t watched Dr. Since my mom used to make me when I was a little kid, like I was allowed to stay up past my bedtime, but it would only be like on a Thursday watch er, when my mom, that’s gonna be the most disappointing reward ever. It was fun. It was terrible. That’s like saying, Here you go, kids, you could stay up to watch CSI cyber on Yeah, no, no, no, it was fucking terrible. And it’s not so much that I had to stab my mom. That’s fine. Yeah, that’s cool. No, but it was I will tell you it was solely watching er, that show is fucking awful. Yeah, and that was like back in the day when, like George Clooney and goose and, and The Good Wife for all this stuff. You know, it’s true. But yeah, you know, so much. I know so much about seasons one through three of er, because I had to stay up and watch with my mom. The lengths that kids will go through. to not go to bed at night is crazy. It’s true. I must have been like, I must have been like grade school age. Like Elijah’s watching fucking a drama about emergency room doctors just to not go to bed. What? What a waste of time if I would have known what how valuable sleep would have been. I would never have seen an episode of Noah Wiley was also on it. It’s true. To know Riley You know what? No Wiley is on now.

Unknown Speaker 36:17

No idea.

eD! Thomas [36:19]

The librarians. There’s a show called the librarians you series. Yeah. 100%


it’s about magical librarians. That sounds so fucking stupid. It’s pretty much one of the worst things that sounds so stupid. What channel is this on? It’s on. It’s on TNT. It’s on Oh, they no drama. It’s you know, drama must be good.

The only way it could be better is if it was on USA. Because that’s what characters are welcome. Yes, they are. Yeah, like characters like that guy from Bern notice. So which one is Rizzoli and Isles on Rizzoli analysis on TNT? So Is that how you end up seeing the librarians? Do you get those often the Ender, Rizzoli and Isles which one is Rizzoli? Rizzoli is the lady who is on which one’s Angie Harmon Angie Harmon that’s the one thing that’s resolving Yeah, that’s Rizzoli isles is real good looking.

Unknown Speaker 37:07

Yes, yes. I

eD! Thomas [37:08]

mean, Angie lemons. Good luck and Dr. Moyer isles one of the greatest people on planet

you love that show I really do and um ironically it’s kind of horrifying. What do you watch other TNT USA? I do I not USA shows. I don’t watch many USA shows.

I can’t ever ever say show psych. psych was us a show I’m friends now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s on us as well. Yes. It could be I mean, there’s you could turn on the TV at any point in the day and get either a lawn order SBU friends or Seinfeld rain. Oh

Unknown Speaker 37:41

my god, no

eD! Thomas [37:42]

matter or an order one day everywhere. It’s true. Well, when you’ve done 97 of just, you know, explaining creepy crap to iced tea. Yeah. Here’s your here’s this week’s hot tips on how to be a fucking child molester. That’s, that’s what Lauren all boils down to. For me basically. It’s almost like watching it’s almost like watching House Hunters for pedophiles. You know, I’d be watched DIY network. But if you want to go out and rape somebody like Oh, let me get Lauren oughta figure out how to get away with this rape. Let me see all the mistakes they made so that I too don’t make those same mistakes. I kind of forgot that. There’s nobody point that out. Nobody got the network. Oh, maybe this is a bad idea to give all these psychopaths fucking information on crimes. The only one that thinks that? Yeah, no, you’re not typing. You’re the one that’s openly saying. Oh, I think it but believe it? Yeah, no, I, uh, what else is on there? white collar. White Collar. Good show. Love that show that. The guy on white collar. Which one? The one? I don’t know why. His name is. What’s the guy’s name? What’s the white collars name a guy. That’s been a crook. Yeah. Neil, something guys. The guys are ridiculously good looking. Matt bomer is the guy who plays him. Yes, please. Neal.

Unknown Speaker 39:06

What else is he?

eD! Thomas [39:07]

What else do caffrey that was the name. And Peter Burke was? Right. Yeah. Matt bomer. What else has he done? He has also done a lot of serious movies like Magic Mike XXL. Um, I’ve seen it. I mean, it was one of the greatest movies of 2015 I don’t I didn’t see it. So I didn’t see it. I didn’t even know. I mean, I know it existed. Oh, yeah. All over the place. Yeah. I use on Chuck. I remember that. He didn’t play. No, no, he didn’t play Chuck. That was Zachary Levi. He played a Bryce Larkin. And apparently, this will be really exciting for us on Guiding Light.

So Barbara, yeah. Don’t act like you don’t know what Guiding Light is? Yeah. No, I was just making sure it’s not one of the popular ones. No, it’s on CBS. Why do I know that? I don’t know. Yeah, I know. That. isn’t one I like is that one of like the real old ones too. That’s one of the ones that’s been on for like eight 70 Yeah, it’s been it’s been a while. It’s been at least 25 minutes. That’s a long time that is through through me that, like 25 minutes you realize that’s not that long, right? But I saw you thinking, that’s what I was looking at you like, Yeah, I was thinking through that one. Yeah. Well, all I was saying was that dude is extremely, extremely good looking. Oh, yeah, no, he is. He is it’s it actually makes me angry. That’s what part of me is like, fuck is this do Dune on white collar. Like he can’t land he’s that bad of an actor? No. White Collar is a was a great show. I love that shit. I don’t trust I don’t really trust any of the originals on those channels. A lesson white collar. Great. I know. I know. What was the one with Tony Shalhoub? monk, monk. Thank

Unknown Speaker 40:48


eD! Thomas [40:48]

I don’t know why I’m brain fart. A whole bunch of awards. True. I remember three seasons of monk is just horrible. It’s very Fuller House. It’s It’s not plotholes wise. I mean, quality wise, quality wise. Yeah, but no Stephanie Tana no no Stephanie nearly misses something this Stephanie Tanner came in like in season three when they got rid of the original nurse and then the good looking nurse came in I was like yeah, okay. Either way, so you have like 400 shows you named three that fucking watchable that’s a pretty low adding in major crimes is awful, but I still watch it. What’s major crime Major Crimes is another show on I think that’s TNT

Unknown Speaker 41:34

What is it like? It was not a rip off.

eD! Thomas [41:36]

Do you remember the show the closer you probably don’t because was on basic cable. Oh, and it was not cure Sedgwick? Yeah, I didn’t watch that show. I hated that show. But this was the spin off this is after a cure. It’s like nope, I’m out that brought in a new like hey, let’s just rename the show 90 years out of it. So it’s basically the same is the exact same thing. Wow, they just recast aunt Viv but didn’t but change the other characters are all the same as far as I know. I never saw you play Johnny on the closer you Napoli Gianni on major crimes. That’s my understanding. Cool. Yeah. Wow, that’s actually exactly what it was. That you know, that shows good when they could change the title and nobody noticed. What it’s what I love about those shows though, is that because they’re on TNT, which has no FCC regulations, at least three times. Each episode they say shit, and like really just hammered home like they just dropped an F bomb. Yeah, like some bullshit Look, I

Unknown Speaker 42:36

said shit.

eD! Thomas [42:37]

Oh, can’t do nothing. They do really like hit that hard because no one cares they can say it always comes out like a completely left field and just feels weird. Why can’t they say fuck because just basic cable regulations from like, you know the standards practices people press sucks. Yeah, they just don’t want to get yelled at. They could do it. I choose not to I honestly feel like all the original programming on those two networks and TBS garbage. I’m just trying to think about it. Like those those comedies on TBS, horrible. Do my It was like last year, they must have churned out 14 or 15 different comedies, and they will all just shit. Like just terrible. Yeah, they would terrible. like Steve, Steve Byrne had that that show where he owned the bar. Yeah, Benjamin was on it. Yeah. I don’t remember the name of it because it lasted seven seconds. Yeah. Owen Benjamin was good on it. He was actually funny on the show. But the show was so bad. That’s TBS is not good. Oh, my God. And I forget that tagline has funny in it. Yeah, very funny. Oh, not at all. Very, very inaccurate. CBS very inaccurate, because that show was not funny. You jump between that and just reruns of Big Bang Theory as well. Yeah, you can only take so much of that. That show was good. 30 seconds of Big Bang Theory is better. Like, Oh, God, I do not like that show. You know. There was also there’s also a show about like these four guys that work together. Another forgettable another with the guy from Pitch Perfect. Using that one? I

Unknown Speaker 44:24

didn’t say

eD! Thomas [44:25]

yeah. I just remember them being like,

Unknown Speaker 44:27

oh, who’s in it? It’s a pitch

Unknown Speaker 44:28


eD! Thomas [44:29]

the the guy from that 70s show Masterson. And he has never done any show. Yeah, he was on it. He played hide on that 70 show and he was on this sack of garbage that TBS put on for like 12 episodes. I’m trying to think what else is it? I used to? I would and I would hate it because TBS would like line up a ton of really good shows. And like squeeze one of their originals and you know, it’d be home From work to us during the day like you wake up say by the Bell was first on then you had the fresh ferns Come on. And a couple of good good shows and you would see you know, you would check the guide and like often the distance you see that home improvement a known favorite of mine distress coming on in two hours. And like in that hour in between fresh fruits and home improvement is like Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. like fuck. What am I supposed to do with this hour? this crap is on or worse meet the Browns came on? God that shows awful. That show I’m actually watching TV is lineup right now. See, I mean, and you try Breck is supposed to be good. I haven’t seen that yet. What is it? Angie Tribeca. Its executive produced by Steve Carell and his wife. Mrs. gibril. Is it Nancy waltz could be it is I’m I’m apparently not remembering shave season culture watching the 40 year old virgin right. I have the therapist who asks, Is it true? If you don’t use it? You lose it? Yeah, the therapist. That’s his wife. All right. She I know you’re not an office fan, but she played his girlfriend for a few episodes on the office too. While you can watch two Broke Girls, and big bang theory on TBS. True, bro. Girls is not nearly as bad as Big Bang Theory. No, but it’s still not good. It’s still not good. No. But those two Broke Girls are actually attractive. They are Yes. Which one do you like better?

Unknown Speaker 46:26


eD! Thomas [46:28]

kinda. I kind of have a thing for Kat Dennings, isn’t it? Yeah, yeah, that’s that’s fucking pervert. I know what you’re getting at.

What are you talking about?

She’s got a fuller house if you know what I’m talking about. Actually has nothing to do with that has to do with her being and Nick and Norah’s Infinite playlist.

Is that was I enjoyed that one. Michael sorry. Yeah. Yes. So whiny he is he has He’s my least favorite part of that movie. But he is good, though. at like, at what he does. Yeah, he’s a one trick pony. But he’s damn fine.

It’s a good trick.

Unknown Speaker 47:03

His best movie though. Is this is the end. That’s true. I love that for him. It’s this is the end. Yeah.

eD! Thomas [47:11]

I think the best movie that he’s in is super bad. But yeah, his best his best role is as himself in this is the end. Yes. 100% great. Let me smash Ron is asking.

Unknown Speaker 47:26

fucking beautiful.

eD! Thomas [47:27]

It’s a good movie. He’s also good in the Bill Murray Christmas special. Things say it in. Beautiful, real weird. everything you’d wish Bill Murray would do. You have people like really? Love Bill Murray. I just don’t have the same appreciation. We’re gonna have a fight. Let me tell you. Let me explain. I love Bill Murray. Okay, but I love Bill Murray from for Ghostbusters. Yes. For Caddyshack. True. I even love What about Bob I agree to disagree. I loved I loved him in that movie. When I saw what about Bob, I was not of the age to actually gotcha. Gotcha. And also, I had no idea why the hell I was there. And it turned out that there was a showing of the Rocketeer immediately attached to it after Okay, that’s why my parents brought me and I’m just in me like, I give you home playing video games. That’s super surreal, odd movie combination. Yeah, it didn’t make any sense whatsoever. Two very different demographics. Like why would they double up? What about Bob and the Rockets here? It makes perfect sense. Energy cuts here also.

Unknown Speaker 48:38


eD! Thomas [48:40]

Just so you know. hurts. hurts my soul. I

Unknown Speaker 48:43

love that movie. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 48:44

it’s great.

eD! Thomas [48:45]

I don’t know. Maybe I have to go back and see it again. I only watched the one time but I was remembered that I wasn’t like a huge fan of it. Now. It’s great. But I will also say this. Go ahead. My taste in movies is awful.

Unknown Speaker 49:00

That’s true.

Unknown Speaker 49:00

It’s awful.

eD! Thomas [49:01]

You’re not good at it. I’m not. No. It’s absolutely awful. Like, I’ll tell you this. You know what movie I loved. It might be my favorite movie of 2015 barring superhero movies, because I love superhero movies. I’m afraid to give you one guess. I don’t want to drag this out. But I’m going to give you one guess. When didn’t ride along to come out? It’s not riding along too. But you’re not falling. I know you love Kevin Hart. You’re not far off. He’s in the mood. Own? Not not get hard. No, that was 14. No as last year. Are you sure? almost certain than it’s not actually haven’t seen that.

Okay. That’s surprising for you. Now. I know. I even have it. I just haven’t seen it. You own it, but you haven’t seen it. The wedding ringer app. So lately. Ding ding ding ding. I remember you telling me that you wanted to see that movie.

Did you see it? No, because I have self respect. That’s That’s a fucking unfair statement. I that movie’s great.

Unknown Speaker 50:05

Is it? Yeah,

eD! Thomas [50:06]

it’s great. It’s like Josh Gad was in it. Okay. And then do you not like I love Josh, you have to like Josh. I do like Josh. If you didn’t like Josh Gad, it would break my heart now. I feel like YouTube would be best for I think we would be best friends outside as long as you can never acknowledge that he was in pixels. I don’t I don’t think he’s pushing to acknowledge that either. No, probably not. Although he’s in a movie that I love with someone that you hate. That’s you’re gonna have to now the rocker. was in that rain?

Unknown Speaker 50:41


eD! Thomas [50:43]

on that note, why don’t we wrap this up for this particular hour? Since we’re like, there. All right. I think we could do that. Yeah. net, take a little break. take a little break. See doodle. So how do we wrap up? I’m just gonna look you lovingly and then day is just gonna. Yeah, no, it wouldn’t work out radio. But fortunately. I don’t think anybody’s gonna care. Yeah. How does it work on podcasts? Because we’re not even on the radio. Usually some like if this was a WTF Mark man would start screaming about Boomer being alive. But not gonna steal that because that’s his cat. Yeah, we can’t steal that now. Or if it was Nerdist it’d be just enjoy your burrito. And I do enjoy every burger I’ve had. Not everyone. Not Well, that’s true. I

Unknown Speaker 51:31

did. I don’t enjoy everyone.

Unknown Speaker 51:32


Unknown Speaker 51:35

You know, what I didn’t enjoy is the case of read up don’t like it. It’s a case.