A Christmas Moose

eD! Thomas

Welcome to the Nearly Coherent podcast. I’m eD!, and joining me this evening, a man who is to sexy what the Jets are to losing, is my buddy Jeff.

Jeff, how are you?

Jeff Ritter

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

eD! Thomas

Do you know what this episode is?

Jeff Ritter

Give it to them!

eD! Thomas

My yearly sports joke!

Jeff Ritter

The Annual Sports Joke, and a good one, by the way.

eD! Thomas

Thank you very much.

Jeff Ritter

Well done. Well done!

eD! Thomas

I had to research that. I did it for you.

Jeff Ritter

I was guessing that it was going to be this episode for the Annual Sports Joke.

eD! Thomas

Yeah.

Jeff Ritter

But I didn’t realize that you were going to first pitch crank that shit out of the park.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, it’s been a minute. I’m feeling good. feeling relaxed. I feel loosey-goosey.

Less so now that I’ve said “loosey-goosey”.

Jeff Ritter

Why? What’s wrong with “loosey-goosey”?

eD! Thomas

It’s weird. Feels weird.

Jeff Ritter

I’m okay with it. You flowed right through it. Why make a big deal about it? It was nice.

eD! Thomas

Yeah. You know what, if you like it, I like it.

Jeff Ritter

Let’s go back to that Jets joke.

eD! Thomas

Let’s do it.

Jeff Ritter

How much research did you do? Or didn’t do? Because it was it’s spot on, by the way,

eD! Thomas

Literally five minutes, just to verify that what I believe about the Jets was correct.

Jeff Ritter

That’s true.

eD! Thomas

Because historically my joke is about either the Jets, or the Knicks, or the Mets. Because those are the easy three.

Jeff Ritter

All historically awful teams, yes.

Although, and I won’t get too much into sports, but…

eD! Thomas

Thank God.

Jeff Ritter

…the Mets may turn it around. So I’m gonna caution you for next year. Do your research before you throw it out.

eD! Thomas

Okay. Okay.

Jeff Ritter

Because they may turn it around. I don’t know.

eD! Thomas

I gotta be honest with you, there’s two things that keep me away from using the Mets: One, I grew up like liking the Mets. Like I used to watch baseball.

Jeff Ritter

Everybody likes the Mets. You can hate the Mets. Yeah, well, yeah, it was went down strawberries are throwing bleach into the, you know, the stands is like I’m out. That was 1993 I haven’t forgotten it. And I’m still a little leery when I go to a Mets game

in his defense. He was on massive amounts of cocaine. Oh, yeah. So

eD! Thomas

also probably pretty pissed that they stole his likeness for the koopas and the Super Mario Brothers movie. Tiny head. Big body tiny head. Yeah,

Jeff Ritter

remarkable.

eD! Thomas

Second thing I’m afraid of Mr. Met. I’m afraid he’s gonna come into my house and beat the shit out of me. And there’s gonna be nothing I can do. He’s actually the opposite of shoebury.

Jeff Ritter

Yeah. Oh, nobody would believe you. They would think it’s a cry wolf.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, it’s not like you’re calling like oh gritty showed up. First of all gritty if he if he showed up and beat the shit out of me. I’d be honored. Yeah, people expect it.

Jeff Ritter

You’re right. Mr. Matt doesn’t look like he can beat anybody up.

eD! Thomas

No, no, Mr. Met, he’s got that power. He’s got a big ass head. And I know how much weight you can throw behind a big asset because I don’t know if you got me.

Jeff Ritter

I got a big asset. If I had a small body, I would be a real life. Mr. Matt.

eD! Thomas

What we should do next year is just both go as gritty. Because you got the beard. And I’ll be off on the meth somewhere. I’m

Jeff Ritter

sure now are we both going? Or is it like one of those horse costumes? Where one? Okay, just try. Just try. Fair enough.

eD! Thomas

We’re gonna be like those three kids in a trench coat from bojack horseman.

Jeff Ritter

I don’t watch bojack horseman. Oh, you should you know what, it’s funny that you mentioned bojack horseman, not to compare it to directly but I lump it in somewhat with you know, Rick and Morty and other Adult Swim fare of that nature. And I was just going to say to you that I’m down because I’m missing Rick and Morty big time.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, I think I think about jack horseman might help. You got to give it up. Because in the beginning, I don’t think it really like catches your heart. But it gets there. And also there’s a holiday special that you have to watch in order of like when it showed up. Because otherwise it doesn’t punch you in the

Jeff Ritter

heart. Alright, so watch the same way. Watch the series in chronological order.

eD! Thomas

Yes. Okay. Yeah, it’s very well worth it.

Jeff Ritter

What’s a streaming on?

eD! Thomas

That’s a Netflix exclusive, sir.

Jeff Ritter

Okay, perfect. There you go. I will give that a shot. You recommended Rick and Morty. You swore I would love it. You were not even a little bit wrong.

eD! Thomas

I know you you and I we got a thing.

Jeff Ritter

Yeah, we do. We were you were right on with that. And I’m feeling the void of adult humor cartoons right now because I just finished season four of big mouth. I don’t know if you watch but Delaney, who I know you’re a big fan of is prominently featured in that show. So I just finished that. Again, another excellent season. It is the most disturbing raunchy thing I’ve ever seen. And because I’m a fan of the people that make it I love the show. I think it’s hilarious. Yeah.

eD! Thomas

My problem is I have evolving feelings about Nick crawl. I originally hated Nick Croll. Yep. And then Oh, hello happened and I went out. Oh, shit. What do I like Nick crawl. And then he did something else. And I was just like, Oh, God, I can get croal Yes.

Jeff Ritter

That’s so weird. That conversation just yesterday. So a friend of mine was a CRO always a chrome shell fan loved cold show. I thought the show was

eD! Thomas

terrible. Fucking. That’s most of where my problems with him came from.

Jeff Ritter

Yeah, I thought that that show was awful. But he was on the league. And I liked him on the league. And he does the voice where he does multiple voices on this. And his voice work is so it’s so impressive. His voice work is incredible. If you watch even one or two episodes of this, because he does like six different voices. Then watch him, like do a table read for this or something like that. Listen, he’s like, he does a couple of voices. I’m like, there’s no way that he’s not using some sort of studio effects. He’s not. Yeah, like he did in in an interview and he just pops from voice to voice. How does he do this? It’s amazing. And it’s made me like Nick Kroll. I think it’s because I don’t have to see his face.

eD! Thomas

That does help a lot. Yeah,

Jeff Ritter

I hate his face.

eD! Thomas

It’s also very different than Justin roiland. Who does the voice of both Rick and Morty. And every time you hear him do any other kind of be like, Oh, no, that’s just Rick with a slightly higher voice.

Jeff Ritter

Yes. And you can always tell what other voices he does. But Rick’s voice is great. Oh, absolutely. Everything that he does with Rick, I think the shows just awesome. I got one more TV question for you.

eD! Thomas

laid on me.

Jeff Ritter

Are you watching the Mandalorian?

eD! Thomas

Yes.

Jeff Ritter

Where are you at?

eD! Thomas

I am caught up to this week.

Jeff Ritter

Okay. So, spoilers,

eD! Thomas

folks, we’re putting down the spoiler warning here I treat Mandalorian like I treat Marvel movies.

Jeff Ritter

I’m actually not going to spoil this. I won’t talk about anything specific.

eD! Thomas

But I’m going to spoil that there’s full frontal nudity. From the Mandalorian. He still wears the helmet. That’s episode seven. It’s just him swinging.

Jeff Ritter

It is circled the mandic lorien. I’m going to propose something and tell me what you think. Please do the last three episodes. Hmm. If you were to put those three episodes together as a movie now I understand there’s, you know, set up an exposition that you wouldn’t get because it came in, but blah, blah, blah. Those three episodes are better than six of the nine Star Wars movies. Maybe better than seven?

Unknown Speaker
Yes.

Jeff Ritter

They’re awesome. I’m sorry. I mean, the main Star Wars movies solo and, and row one. It wasn’t counted to.

eD! Thomas

No, it is not. No, it is as good as Rogue One. Rogue One is an incredible movie and I will die on that hill.

Jeff Ritter

I like roll one. I have watched it and I do like it. But I do like these last three episodes I think have been just awesome. Like everything about

eD! Thomas

they haven’t been great. Absolutely. Especially the dick twirling scene is great. Honestly. Very artful. Incredible.

Jeff Ritter

Yep, tastefully done.

eD! Thomas

Very. I couldn’t ask for more. All

Jeff Ritter

right, so we’re close. We may. Yeah, if it’s 567 movies, whatever it is, but it’ll be at the upper middle of the pack. If if these three episodes are a movie.

eD! Thomas

Absolutely.

Jeff Ritter

I’m pumped up to find out what happens. Me too. Even though I know I’m going to be disappointed because it’s probably going to be some sort of cliffhanger. And you know how I feel about not having things spelled out and wrapped up with a bow?

eD! Thomas

Yeah, you are. You’re not a fan. And we’re gonna have to wait till December 2021, I think is when the next season comes out.

Jeff Ritter

So it’s like a full year. Yeah,

eD! Thomas

yeah. Yeah. It’s interesting. Like, we’re gonna go in a little bit of a tangent here, but it’s interesting how they shot that show. I don’t know if you saw there’s a documentary video about it. That was going around a couple weeks ago. I haven’t watched it. But yeah, I

Jeff Ritter

did. I’m aware of that.

eD! Thomas

Basically, they have a huge soundstage that’s just got a curved LED panel on it. And they just build everything using Unreal Engine, which is what they use for building video games like Bioshock Arkham Knight are all Arkham stuff, a billion other things that I’m not thinking of because those two are like two of my favorite games. So I have them right off the top my head, okay, and I From what I understand all the technology they use on that is what they’re going to be using for a lot of Marvel movies now so they can shoot them with COVID restrictions. Working. Oh,

Jeff Ritter

that’s pretty interesting.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, the first one that’s supposed to do that is love and thunder. I can’t wait for that movie. It’s gonna be so good. It’d be real, real good.

Jeff Ritter

Tyco. ytt is directed a couple I know one for sure. I thought it was a couple but directed a couple episodes of the Mandalorian Yes, he’s a very good director.

eD! Thomas

He is very good director.

Jeff Ritter

I like that they’ve had different directors do different episodes. And like those episodes have have really taken heavy influences from genres like westerns, I think a wet like the western movie. And, and very specifically, I think the Magnificent Seven is a real big influence on the show. And, man, it’s just really well done.

eD! Thomas

It is really well done. I love it.

Jeff Ritter

Can I go in one other direction real quick? Because you can go Yes, everyone I have really been waiting to ask you about.

eD! Thomas

Yes, I will marry you.

Jeff Ritter

Perfect. And can we perform our own ceremony?

eD! Thomas

I sure I hope so. I wonder if that’s allowed. Who the hell else am I gonna have do it Dave? Oh, God.

Jeff Ritter

invited. Hey, we

eD! Thomas

got to have a busboy somehow.

Jeff Ritter

might be working that night at the at the venue. That’s true. Yeah. Tobey Maguire. Andrew Garfield. Mm hmm. Tom Holland. Yeah. All slated to be in the same Spider Man movie. One.

eD! Thomas

I’m worried about this movie a bit because I think they took the wrong lesson from into the spider verse. But to give me Alfred Molina as dakak any day of the week. Yeah, so

Jeff Ritter

he’s, I only mentioned the characters that would be playing Peter Parker. But

eD! Thomas

yeah, I gotta be honest, the most interesting part of that is dakak. Coming back to me.

Jeff Ritter

I do like that. I really liked him as tagaq

eD! Thomas

he was wonderful. And there is that Twitter video of him on set. Alfred million was getting ready to do Fiddler on the Roof. And he would sing with the arms dancing with him. Oh, that’s

Jeff Ritter

pretty funny. I got I haven’t seen that.

eD! Thomas

I’ll send it to you later.

Jeff Ritter

I didn’t even watch the amazing Spider Man franchise. Oh, that’s

eD! Thomas

a second set.

Jeff Ritter

Right. That’s a second set. But I really did not like Sam trainees at all. Any of them.

eD! Thomas

Yeah. See two is one of my favorite comic book movies of all time, is it? I didn’t like it. And maybe

Jeff Ritter

there were aspects that I didn’t like and the only reason I even say that is because I feel like you’re a harsher critic of them than I am and if you liked it, then maybe I’m looking at it wrong, but I just couldn’t get past like I just I hate Tobey Maguire in everything he’s my email Jeremy Renner and I fucking hate his guts.

eD! Thomas

ever say the story about how I saw Spider Man three at the

Jeff Ritter

Did you go to the premiere?

eD! Thomas

I did. I got passes. I don’t remember if it was press passes, or I want something. I feel like it was a press pass. I got tickets to the premiere of spider man three after Spider Man two which I I’ve loved. I was really excited for Spider Man three. Not so much for venom because venom sucks. But you know the rest of it. The main premiere was booked up so I got shuffled to the Staten Island premiere. Yes. So I had to go spend my first time on Staten Island outside of a car. I stepped on Staten Island soil. First time to go see Spider Man three. Yeah, it was the 2020 of my life before 2020 it was the worst time

Jeff Ritter

you sat in garbage to watch garbage.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, it was like the writers of the universe. Were trying too hard to just nail that metaphor.

Jeff Ritter

It’s like it is it’s like a bit that should have gotten cut from a sitcom and yeah, made it into your life. Yeah. So you’re nervous about this spider man? Are you even a little excited about it?

eD! Thomas

I am excited, but I’m also nervous. Okay, I would still like to have a spider man movie that’s done in the MCU there have been movies that headlined spider man but two of them were Iron Man four and five basically. And now you’re gonna have Dr. Strange and everything else I just let give me a Tom Holland Spider Man movie. Yeah, please.

Jeff Ritter

You know who actually feels the same way as you? Andrew Garfield. He says that the relationship between Spider Man and Tony is overall. Yeah, it absolutely is like the first movie dealt with him trying to be Tony and trying to do what he does, which he’s not. He’s your friendly neighborhood Spider Man. And then the second movie was all about whether or not he’d be able to live up to the Legacy and that they really get about spider man.

eD! Thomas

No, so they weren’t.

Jeff Ritter

If you and Andrew Garfield ever meet open with that,

eD! Thomas

yeah definitely open with that instead of how dare you have dated Emma Stone? You sag a shit.

Jeff Ritter

She’s gonna be back here excited

eD! Thomas

only if I can somehow get on set and propose and she doesn’t have me arrested.

Jeff Ritter

Oh, she’d have you arrested left out of the studio? Quite possibly.

eD! Thomas

Honestly,

Jeff Ritter

I take it. I would take it to I you getting left out I would watch it. I’m your friend. I’ll support you later, but I’m fucking definitely laughing now.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, as you said,

Jeff Ritter

I’ll help you pick up the pieces after, but you always did. We’re gonna make sure they’re good and shattered first.

eD! Thomas

Oh, yeah.

Jeff Ritter

So what else is what’s new with you? Man? We got way into it before I said How are you? Sorry.

eD! Thomas

That’s all right. I’m fine. Who cares? We’re talking about important shit here. Well, eight. I

Jeff Ritter

will also say it is your fault. You’re right. You can’t put together an intro like that. And then expect me to not get completely lost. Yeah, listen, you knew that was coming.

eD! Thomas

I did. I did. I just made I you know what I want to make editing just a little bit harder for myself later.

Jeff Ritter

It’s fine. Man. It’s always up for a challenge. More

eD! Thomas

on that later. But hey, let’s talk about a thing that came out yesterday. Oh, air pods max.

Jeff Ritter

Yes.

eD! Thomas

Let’s talk because I have feelings. And exactly zero of them are good. Really?

Jeff Ritter

Yeah. All right. Now hold on, because I gotta ask you a question. Go ahead, please.

eD! Thomas

How long before you buy them? Not gonna happen? I had the series and everybody who lists this. knows I had the series zero Apple Watch. Like, I bought it. I was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. I got my money. They came out watch. I went, that is going to be my treat. I’m going to have myself the fanciest Apple Watch. And then I held on to that thing forever and just started hating it. Because it was slow. It didn’t do anything right. It was just a mess. This is the Apple Watch Series zero of headphones to me. Okay. It’s overpriced. The indeed. It’s too heavy. I mean, it’s what 380 kilograms, but it has to sit on your head. They’re the two metal cups. Apparently, if you move your head, you can feel them weighing yourself down. My neck doesn’t need that kind of strain. Really? Yeah, it’s not great. And I feel like I want to save this to build up but I’m so mad about it that I’m going to get to it now. That goddamn case.

Jeff Ritter

Oh, those

eD! Thomas

weird boobie tits that they’ve got.

Jeff Ritter

Yeah. Looks like a strapless bra.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, it’s horrendous. First of all the notch that’s on the bottom of them. There’s this like, weird little cutout on both sides. So part of your metal headphones isn’t protected, including part of your cushy cups, which remind me about that in a second. It doesn’t line up. There’s a little like cut out for the lightning port. It doesn’t line up correctly.

Does that true? Which is the most

unnatural thing I’ve ever heard in my life? Like Who the hell are you Samsung? Get your shit together. Tim Cook.

Jeff Ritter

That is a big fuckup one two.

eD! Thomas

The case doesn’t close well, so if you don’t hit the magnet correctly, you don’t turn your goddamn headphones off. So it’s just draining battery now apparently it does get a good 16 to 20 hours of battery life. Even noise cancelling on but I don’t want my headphones running out of battery because I’m not listening to dare to be stupid. 500 times in a row? What the hell’s wrong with you?

Jeff Ritter

How many times could you could you listen to it in 16 hours?

eD! Thomas

uh that’s what a three minute song so a lot. I don’t math. Okay. Just wondering. You know what? I’ll let somebody else do that get on it Malta it’s it’s the case is so it it does protect the headband, the headband that is made of mesh. Like the thing that is going to break?

Jeff Ritter

I don’t think it doesn’t seem like it protects anything.

Unknown Speaker
It doesn’t. It’s useless.

Jeff Ritter

Oh, so stupid.

eD! Thomas

It is the most useless damn thing I’ve ever seen in my life. second only to the ear cups. I mean, the ear cups coming out and being magnetic. Awesome. Love that. Love that you can replace that air cups. Because for $550 pair of headphones. I better be able to swap out the ear cups when they get all gnarly and gross. Good point. But you charge $70 for them. Are you legitimately hi? What is going on?

Jeff Ritter

Yeah, apples really come out of pocket with some of this shit this year like that. $100 charger? Five What is it? 505 49 for this right?

eD! Thomas

Yeah 5.9 for this by the way that $130 duo charger has the same feel as the case for the air pods Max and apparently it is what scientists call not good. It feels gross. Oh god damn it on happy

Jeff Ritter

Yeah. God damn it,

eD! Thomas

and I know you and I were texting each other the other day, and going like, my brain is trying to convince me to buy these. And you said the same thing because again, we get each other. Yep. But after seeing some reviews and just what clinched it for me beyond the fact that I am not spending $500 on headphones 550

Jeff Ritter

plus that

eD! Thomas

$550 if they were $350 take my money, even with your stupid case, but for $550 I better get a case that protects my headphones. That doesn’t suck and doesn’t look like just a but

Jeff Ritter

doesn’t look like a but

eD! Thomas

also in what damn universe? Does Apple think that they live in where I would charging $550 and not giving me a charging brick?

Jeff Ritter

They charge you 14 $100 for a phone and there’s no charging brick

eD! Thomas

Look, I don’t like the whole phone idea. And also the fact that they were like, but we still give you the cable but it’s a USBC cable. So it doesn’t it’s not compatible with any of the cables. Yeah, we

Jeff Ritter

still give you the cable that nobody except that has it for

eD! Thomas

Yeah, exactly. I don’t like that with the phone. But I especially don’t like it. When you’re not giving me either a cable where I can connect my headphones in an airplane and entertainment system. What if I want to watch Hobbs and Shaw on the four inch screen in JetBlue? gang con and he spent 35 extra dollars for a cable for that get out?

Jeff Ritter

What does it come with? What cable does it come with lightning to USB C. And to do that you would then need an adapter to go to a

eD! Thomas

it’s a $35 lightning to regular headphone jack.

Jeff Ritter

Pass mX $35 for like 15 more than that, maybe even less. I’ll buy an air fly and connect that way. That things I have that for my air pod pros. And I love it.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, it’s this whole headphone. And it’s not like I got the whole Yeah, your monitors like $6,000 you have to spend another $1,000 on a stand. Okay, but it’s for a standards for professional grade. So if you know that you need it, you can justify bla bla bla bla bla, I get all that. Yeah, these are headphones. These are regular headphones. They’re not reference monitor headphones. They’re not special, like, give you a neck rub while you’re listening to them. They don’t play with your nipples. They don’t. They don’t rock that they refuse even though they go and hang out in a strapless bra when they’re off. Good point, you

Jeff Ritter

would think they’d be into the nipple stuff.

eD! Thomas

It’s ridiculous I am. I’m not getting these damn things.

Jeff Ritter

I’m definitely not I will say unequivocally the generation one of these headphones I am not getting. Now I make no promises about subsequent headphones.

eD! Thomas

Absolutely not series three, I’ll probably be right on board. But this one,

Jeff Ritter

no. And the digital crown that they’re using on there. I’m not a fan of it on there.

eD! Thomas

I’m ambivalent.

Jeff Ritter

I but I feel like for that price, they could put better controls.

eD! Thomas

I don’t know what would be better controls though. That’s the thing is that it still gives you the the feedback. So you hear the click click click click click as you’re doing things. So that’s helpful. It’s better than like, you know, pressing the button on this, but I still don’t know what the button on this headphone does. It might kill me. Who knows?

Jeff Ritter

Don’t press it then.

eD! Thomas

I don’t intend to. There you go. I

Jeff Ritter

assure you, the world may never know.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, I’m gonna stick with my beats pros until they die. And then I’m going to use these Surface Pro headphones that I got from Microsoft. By the way, I guess I have to say this again. Microsoft partner. Whoo. Whoo. Their headphones are pretty good.

Jeff Ritter

So nice case.

eD! Thomas

It is a nice case looks like a case that would protect the headphones. You know what? That’s the weird thing it does say you go.

Jeff Ritter

Your beats should last you for a fair amount of time. So

eD! Thomas

the cups are starting to wear out.

Jeff Ritter

Oh, yeah. The cops. I have the I’m using the Bose. What do you call? The cups are shot.

eD! Thomas

Wow. Those are? Yeah. So back to things that Apple released that I’m actually pretty jazzed about. Yeah, Apple fitness plus came out yesterday. It did. Have you tried it yet?

Jeff Ritter

I have not. I’ve gone in there. And look, I didn’t do the update yesterday. I did the update last night overnight. So today was the first time that I was able to see it. It looks pretty fucking cool.

eD! Thomas

I’m just gonna throw it out there. yesterday. In the interest of this podcast, I did one of their beginner sessions. Now this is what I actually like about Apple fitness. Because like if you get into like, peloton and all the rest of this shit, it’s like okay, you got to go like 50 miles right now you big dumb fat idiot. I’m not gonna do that. That’s how you get me the hell out of your stupid thing. Yeah, they have an entire section. That’s basically the preview videos for listen. Are you just a slob who hasn’t exercised in Literally yours. We got you. Do you

Jeff Ritter

not have a neck? Try this.

eD! Thomas

Do you get winded moving yourself from one couch cushion to another cooler couch cushion. Try this on for size. It will help. We’re here for you. And actually, yeah, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t a bad deal. I felt like I had done something I slept well. It was weird. I don’t know if like, this is a thing that happens with exercise. We got to do an experiment,

Jeff Ritter

you’re gonna need to eat some broccoli and do an exercise and see what happens. Oh God, and be like a super soldier.

eD! Thomas

I’m gonna I’m gonna eat some Chinese broccoli. Like I did 200 episodes ago. I’m going to do these exercises for three weeks by January I’m going to be down 90 pounds. Can you imagine

Jeff Ritter

though, if the whole key is that you’ve just never eaten a vegetable or done any exercise? And after like, one day you’re an Adonis. more of an Adonis.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, thank you. First of all, let’s get that right. Sorry. Ever particularly bad breakup, I had gained during that relationship a bunch of just like coasting weight, I suppose I’m gonna call it. And by the time it sounds like I’m gross, and I started eating better. And I went to the gym like three times a week and just to the treadmill. I remember you go into the gym. I lost 40 pounds like that. Yeah, it was ridiculous. I also cut out soda. That’s not happening. So let’s not get our hopes up. But it could happen. It could. I by the time dad’s wedding comes around, I could have at least a four pack of Mountain Dew. Rach waste.

Jeff Ritter

I’ll tell you right now if I cut out soda. Now by the next time we record I could be down 15 pounds. Yeah,

eD! Thomas

soda is a Harsh Mistress and I love her so much. Oh, me too. Yeah, I just sucking down mountain dews and coach like they’re going out of style.

Jeff Ritter

Ah, give me a quick top five sodas, please.

eD! Thomas

Sure. Coke surge. Combined for number one. Fanta. Mountain Dew. sprite? Well,

Jeff Ritter

coke. You got coke surge.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, you know what I’m gonna I put coke in search as my two favorite. So we’re gonna make that the five but that’s your top five. I was trying to think of a fit. So I was like, not gonna say Sierra Mist. That sucks. And Pepsi isn’t even a drinkable liquid

Jeff Ritter

fat is the orange.

Unknown Speaker
Yeah. Okay.

Jeff Ritter

I like sunkist orange, better. person. You

eD! Thomas

know what? Fanta. Originally, it was minute made orange. And I used to have orange soda with my grandfather in it. That was the one. So it’s the same taste. Gotcha. So that’s that’s more of like a nostalgia. surreal. Listen,

Jeff Ritter

I’m not knocking it. It’s delicious. I love orange soda. Oh,

eD! Thomas

our soda is so good. What about you what you got?

Jeff Ritter

That’s tough one. I’m probably putting Dr. Pepper at number one. Okay, ginger ale at number two. Shit. I

eD! Thomas

didn’t even think about ginger ale because you know what I don’t think of ginger ale is a soda. I think of ginger ale as a remedy for your tummy.

Jeff Ritter

I was just gonna say is medicine, right?

eD! Thomas

Is that why it is? Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

Jeff Ritter

I love ginger ale. But it’s Canada dry is the best.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, I can agree with that. I think

Jeff Ritter

Schweppes has no taste in Canada dry is the best one. And then I shouldn’t say I shouldn’t just completely Thresh Schweppes, because I can’t remember, Schweppes or see groom’s one of them has no taste at all. No.

eD! Thomas

Oh, I think it’s seagrams. Okay,

Jeff Ritter

I can’t remember.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, Shrek constructs is my backup. Ginger Ale.

Jeff Ritter

All right. I can’t remember because I avoid i if i can get Canada dry. That’s where I’m going. Alright, so that’s, that’s number two. I By the way, regular coke. Will you know, original coke will do at any time. No, I will never turn it down. Yeah, but when I have the choice, I like cherry coke. And then I’m thinking I’m thinking in there that Stewart’s orange cream and rounding it out with cream soda. I like mug. I like a NW I’m good with both of those bought. boylan’s cream soda is boobies. I love boiling scream soda. I don’t mean to offend anybody by saying that boiling scream soda is boobies.

eD! Thomas

If that’s what you’re getting offended by, by things that we’ve said in the past five years. Yeah,

Jeff Ritter

that’s true.

eD! Thomas

You really have to figure out those couple of things in your life.

Jeff Ritter

I’m gonna explain though to the listeners. That’s a compliment as I love boobies. So now that’s out there.

eD! Thomas

Yes. In breaking news. Jeff likes boobies.

Jeff Ritter

This just in water is wet.

eD! Thomas

Yep, sun is bright.

Jeff Ritter

Actually water is not wet, right? water makes things wet. is water itself wet?

eD! Thomas

Yes. Okay. Because without the h2o you Got his oxygen, so it was not wet. I passed my science class, by the way, so I can now make all sorts of jokes, and not worry about the fact that I might mess it up on a test. Boom, boom, there you go.

Jeff Ritter

Perfect. That’s why I waited until now, to start bringing up chemistry.

eD! Thomas

Yep, that was we had an agreement.

Jeff Ritter

Yeah. Oh, by the way, are we not gonna talk about the fact that you prepped for the episode and exercised? Yeah,

eD! Thomas

I know.

Jeff Ritter

Like, who am I have you? No shame.

eD! Thomas

Trust me, all I have is shame. That’s all I’ve got left.

Jeff Ritter

Here. If it makes you feel better, it’s an apple thing. That doesn’t count. And sure,

eD! Thomas

honestly, I didn’t feel bad about it at all. I was totally fine with it. You know, if, if Apple wants me to, I don’t know, extend my life a little bit. Because they’ll get more money out of me that way. Who am I to say? No,

Jeff Ritter

I do Imagine that. That’s why this thing has a pulse oximeter. And it tells you for the like, oh, the schmuck that bought a $600 watch every two years. He fell somebody go help him.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, he every two years. Yeah, that’s great.

Jeff Ritter

save his life.

eD! Thomas

Yeah, I just don’t want to be winded walking six steps anymore.

Jeff Ritter

It’s a very good point.

eD! Thomas

Yeah.

Jeff Ritter

What else? You got anything? Oh,

eD! Thomas

well, you know what, let’s let’s do what I believe they call in the business. A little programming note.

Jeff Ritter

I don’t know what that is. So take

eD! Thomas

it away. Sir. There have been several episodes that I because of like, you know, burnouts, the class I was taking that I just mentioned, the software that I use to edit things not being compatible with Big Sur and then breaking, and then making me angry, and then making me want to throw myself out a window. There’s basically like seven episodes that haven’t come out. So coming towards the end of this year, expect a big jump of episodes right on your face.

Jeff Ritter

And by the way, listen up, everybody. He doesn’t owe you any explanation. Okay, from the bottom of his heart. He’s giving you what he owes you. motherfuckers nothing. So, you take that, Sandy. Just kidding. I’m just kidding. Sandy. I don’t even know hopefully you still lesson get me on Twitter. Man. I miss you. So

eD! Thomas

here’s a fun little Sandy server. I had a meeting this morning with the rest of my team at work. And Sandy was sitting there with his hood up. And he looked like immediately after the meeting. He was gonna go do a rap battle at Eight Mile. It was amazing.

Jeff Ritter

You know what? You look like that right now. Except for the Christmas moose t shirt.

eD! Thomas

That’s a reindeer saying the mask goes over your nose.

Jeff Ritter

I am so embarrassed that I

did not I could not believe that. I said Christmas. Do you realize if you said that? I would fuckin annihilate him for the next decade for saying that for calling in a Christmas mousse. I feel like it’s this one of the stupidest things I’ve ever said. Christmas mousse. Geez. Good lord. Tell

eD! Thomas

it’s still better than tall kid in the short lineup or whatever the hell that for shit. Well, yeah, well.

Jeff Ritter

Yes. But woof. Woof. I said, Can I tell you Can I at least take one breath to explain to you why I said Christmas mousse.

eD! Thomas

Can I can I before you do that? I literally blacked out for half a second because I was laughing so hard that no oxygen got to my brain. That is how much I loved.

Jeff Ritter

I know. Here’s the thing. So what does your shirt say?

eD! Thomas

I can’t eat it. It is a reindeer wearing a mask. like you’d wear out and the mask is on its face in the bottom Texas. The mask goes over your notes.

Jeff Ritter

Okay. So I would assume that that’s rude off because yeah, he’s read a mask. It’s the famous nose. But the way that it’s positioned, all I can see is the o s e in nose. I’m thinking that that is preceded by M Oh, yeah. I’m like for some reason I thought it said moose and I called him a Christmas moose.

eD! Thomas

The reindeer is wearing a Santa hat. And it’s got antlers so I could see where you’d go like, oh, Christmas moose,

Unknown Speaker
as opposed to

eD! Thomas

common horned animal that goes with Christmas. The reindeer. I’m going to tell you what,

Jeff Ritter

I am going to refer to them as Christmas moves from now on.

eD! Thomas

That’s what it that’s the title of the episode. That’s it. Boom Christmas moves. It’s a famous moods and you know what If you don’t like it Jeff didn’t owe you shit. God damn right. I

Jeff Ritter

owe you nothing. Yeah, we will perforate you so hard still listen to us,

eD! Thomas

please with us in our lives. It’s all we’ve got left. Or at least me. I mean, Jeff’s got children, I guess.

Jeff Ritter

I mean, it’s true. Please I still see the listeners even though we

eD! Thomas

know you shit.

Ah, alright man, you got anything else for me?

Jeff Ritter

I don’t I thought I would have something else and then I said fucking Christmas musi it’s so bad. I’m so upset that Dave’s gonna hear me say Christmas moves. I feel like I have to beat Dave up now. Like, I know we you know we do Josh around and I don’t you know, throw some. I throw some verbal jabs his way. I feel like I’ve got to drive to New Jersey and just throw Dave the ass whooping of a lifetime. Just Yeah, just to make sure he knows that. He beat up by the guy that called it a Christmas moose. Ah,

eD! Thomas

that’s phenomenal. Well, I’ll talk to you

Unknown Speaker
next week.

Jeff Ritter

Sounds good buddy. I love you. I love you and I love your Christmas moves.